Embarrassingly, it's been about a year and a half since I last wrote anything here. So much has happened, good and bad, anticipated and unexpected. Just when you think life levels out and there isn't a crisis on the horizon, one appears and you either lose your mind or you adjust, adapt, and overcome. That's been our life for five years now.
It's pleasantly boring now. We have come through the storms stronger and wiser. We have unloaded useless and destructive baggage from our lives, both people and possessions. We own a house, a sweet, lovely little house. Perfect for us. Small, but less for me to clean. My girls are grown. One will be 28 and is a nurse. Where did those years go? My sweet little Faff is now a nurse. Slings and arrows have bounced off us both, hearts broken and respect sought, but we're good now. My baby, Ali, is 13 and taller than I am. Hysterically funny, smart, the most loving, giving creature God put breath into.
My sweet husband. The warrior. He's come through hell's fires and stood on the other side and laughed at the enemy with his hand in God's. It's been a rough road. Losing a leg. Blindness. What man am I? Questions, worries, doubts, joy, laughter, tears, prayers. Had we known that a scratch on the leg from a blackberry bush would leave him fighting for his life in ICU, two bouts of sepsis, Charcot foot.....amputation.....had we known the outcome would we have said, "Yes, we will carry this and whatever else you give us?" If we had the chance? I can't answer for him. Myself, I wouldn't trade the wisdom gained for anything in the world.
Some days are still a struggle. Others are such a joy to go through. I am learning to be in the moment, rather than looking days and months ahead. Taking the time to sit down and just listen to life going on around me. Mercifully, my planner has fewer and fewer doctor appointments in it. I have had to learn to make the time to do things with my family that aren't planned around doctor appointments. We are learning to live a new way of life, and it's good. It isn't perfect, but it's perfectly good, for us.
